Marriage Anchors

Yes, we have free choice and so does God. Romans 8:29. "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters."

Ephesians 1:4-5. “4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love (5) he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—"

Ephesians 1:11. "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,"

There is a mystery between predestination and free will. They are both true. If you take a coin and hold it parallel with the level ground, looking from the top down say... (the heads side) that could be God having predestined, called, and chosen us, His elected children. Now if you are under the coin and looking up to the sky (tails), that could be our free will choice to choose to receive, embrace, and follow Christ or not.

2Peter 3:9. "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

2Thessalonians 2:10. "and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved."

Joshua 24:14-15. “14 Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.

15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

So both are true. Remember. God is not bound by the limitations of a linear timetable. He sees the past, present, and future- NOW.

NOTE: If you are an unsaved, lost person, and you want to know if you are one of God’s predestined, chosen, and elect Children of God, as a free will decision, choose to turn from self and sin and choose to cry out to the Lord for His forgiveness achieved on the Cross, and gladly and humbly choose to welcome Christ into your heart giving Him full control and authority over your life and future. Joel 2:32a. “...everyone who calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”

And the way to know if you are predestined for eternal damnation is to arrogantly reject our Lord’s wonderful free gift of forgiveness, adoption as a Child of God, and eternal life in Heaven.

A Young Praying Girl Painting

Please read this and share it. HAVE YOU CHOSEN...?

by Jim and Barbara Grunseth, Cru Emeritus     jim.grunseth@cru.org

From the New Testament, please read John Chapter 8:1-11.

If Jesus were only merciful when He rescued the young woman caught in the act of adultery, He would have comforted her, chastised her accusers, and blessed her with unconditional acceptance of her AND her conduct. [Reference the above photo: The praying hand on the left]

If Jesus were only committed to dispensing truth, He would have spelled out to her and the onlookers that she was guilty of terrible sin and should be utterly ashamed and punished. [Reference the above photo: The praying hand on the right]

No... Jesus is full of mercy and full of truth. The two are NEVER to be found separate. He is Mercy and Truth. He did not shame her. He rescued her from shame and destruction.  

He then told her, "Go... and leave your life of sin."  -John 8:11 KJV

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THREE POINTS TO REMEMBER

1. God’s Love, on one hand, has Mercy and on the other hand, Truth.  God’s Mercy [hebrew: hesed = unwavering, steadfast, loyal faithfulness. - a masculine word - God chooses to constantly withhold that which is so rightly deserved.] and… God’s Truth [hebrew: 'emet =   firmness, faithfulness, sureness, reliability, stability, continuance - a feminine word, eternally unchanging.] 

    NOTE: Masculine + Feminine = also applies to God’s plan for Marriage ... Hmmm... interesting...

(1 biological man + 1 biological Woman). 

2. We must expose the big lie! A church (or one’s heart)  that only emphasizes mercy and typically  minimizes or completely ignores truth is no church (or God-honoring heart) at all. Figuratively, it is a bus traveling rapidly to Hell. “Oh but we are open and affirming, tolerant of all, totally accepting, compassionate, welcoming, loving and inclusive… and Social Justice is our passion! 'How dare you judge us! Judge not, that you be not judged!’-Matthew 7:1 ESV” You feel together, warm, and ‘believed in’ on your way to eternal damnation in the Lake of Fire!

The church that hammers people with harsh truth, fear, and ‘We know better than you!’ judgments, greatly hinders the Gospel, cripples God’s love in marriages and families that attend, and tends to stress that you, a follower of The Lord Jesus, can lose your salvation because you just don’t measure up. This is nothing more than a religious prison!

3. Like the pressing fingers of praying  hands, God’s Mercy and His Truth (all of God’s Holy Scriptures) must always be closely connected and  never be found separate. It begins in your heart and mine. 

“Will I choose moment by moment to yield to Christ’s Spirit within me and to His eternal, inspired Word before me?”

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”-Psalm 119:105 KJV

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing”.-John 15:5  ESV

“Blessed be the Lord! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.”-Psalm 28:6 ESV

Please read the following and ask the Lord who He wants you to send this to.

Have You Chosen?

https://marriageanchors.com/2026/01/22/have-you-chosen/

Please know our site www.marriageanchors.com is all free. We are in over 80 nations. 

And please use and share our:

Jim & Barbara Grunseth, Cru Emeritus 

jim.grunseth@cru.org

Verse/word references:

Proverbs 3 (KJV) - Let not mercy and truth

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1. Have you chosen to love and follow the Lord Jesus Christ no matter the cost?  Yes      No    Considering

“…choose this day whom you will serve, …But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  – Joshua 24:15 ESV

Friend, are you choosing to promote yourself, grab the world’s notice, or thirst for the world’s wealth? Are you secretly searching for and trying to gratify sinful sexual desires which, in every instance, you will find yourself empty, beaten, and one more step to full demonic enslavement? … Or are drugs and alcohol gripping you? Is craving respect your enslavement?

If you choose to seek glory, power, and pleasure, you will be trapped somewhere in the The Devil's Triangle.

2. If you are ensnared in the supernatural demonic web, you are without true, lasting hope.

Your only "hope" is to call on the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Only Son of God, Savior, Prince of Peace.

"For you. our Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you." Psalm 86:5 ESV

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. - 1John 4:16 ESV (All Bold’s added)

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 ESV

3. Choose Christ. Love and follow Him. Repent of sin and self. Surrender your life to Jesus and come under the authority of the Word of God, the Bible.

Here is the Gospel: Your Anchor: Don’t leave port without Him! - Marriage Anchors

Note: If you have called on The Lord Jesus to forgive and save you and you have turned from sin and self and have received, or gladly welcomed Him into your heart, please tell a pastor, or someone you know who truly loves and follows Jesus. Find a Gospel sharing and a Bible loving church and join, if possible, a Christian small group for encouragement and fellowship.

Feel free to explore our free website www.marriageanchors.com  which is presently in over 80 nations. Consider sharing it with your church leaders and your friends.  Jim.Grunseth@Cru.Org is our email. Please share with us if the Lord saved you or if this article helped you in any way.

Be Still?

Dear friends,

Six years ago, after experiencing four grand mal seizures, my life underwent a profound transformation. Although medication successfully halted the seizures, I found myself predominantly confined to bed, with only occasional days of relative well-being. During these moments of physical rest, I became increasingly aware that my heart was restless, yearning for genuine peace.

Recently, this verse from Psalm 46:10 was brought to my attention:
“He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’”

In seeking understanding, I asked myself, “Lord, how can I be more still when most of my days are spent in bed?” It became clear that true stillness extends beyond mere physical quietness; it resides within our hearts. Although outwardly I appeared calm, internally I grappled with a desire for control and a need for comfort.

God gently revealed that my desire for control, not just to reduce fear or pain, was keeping me from true peace. I had to admit that sometimes I don’t like that God is in charge, especially when His timing and ways are different from mine. But I’m learning that His discipline is an honor—a sign of His love and care. Proverbs 15:5 reminds us, “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds correction is prudent”.  

So, to all of you Envoys for the Lord walking a hard road, let’s be honest about our struggles and let God work in His way. When pain or anxiety is greatest, can you see the honor in His loving discipline? I’m not asking you to feel it right away, but to trust and obey by the power of the Holy Spirit, who helps us beyond our own strength.  

You are not alone. God bless you, still ones.  

With love, 

Anne Borgen  0609poppy@gmail.com

https://m.youtube.com/@anneborgen

--Placing another person in your heart above yourself.

Friends, most of us never took a class in school entitled EMPATHY 101. I have been mentoring married and engaged couples for 35 years and with my wife, Barbara, for 28 years. Marriages, families, and homes need Spirit-led Empathy. Here is what we have trained couples to do. Please pray and ask God for wisdom, grace, and humility.

Agree to doing a listening / sharing exercise where you and your mate (or fiancé) take turns sharing: 

1. Your greatest need. 

2. Your greatest joy.

3. Your worst fear.

4. What communicates love, worth, and value to you. 

5. What makes you laugh the most. 

6. Two qualities about the other person's character that you deeply admire. 

7. One action or attitude that I could start doing that would comfort, encourage, or bring warmth, hope, and joy to you.

NOTE: The emphasis is not so much on the verbal sharing but on the Empathic Listening. -no interruptions, no disagreements, no devaluing. If possible, hold hands (for couples).

If you really want to bless, and receiving a blessing, take time to say the 4 MAGIC WORDS: "Please tell me more." ... and then continue listening. 

If you really want to ensure that your mate has truly been heard and valued, SUMMARIZE what he or she just told you. 

Something like ... "Mary, I want to make sure I understand you fully... Is it true that your greatest need right now is _________?" -- and then be humble enough to ask Mary, "How accurate was my summary of what you had shared with me? I want to get it right, so I learn to hear you fully with unconditional love."

-- also Note, this may be helpful in modeling empathy with your teen or adult child as well. 

If you feel you need the assistance of a 3^rd party to help you and your mate, please prayerfully connect with a Bible-honoring pastor, counselor, or close, trusted friend(s).

For additional help...

https://marriageanchors.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Marriage-Anchors.pdf

Learn about the Spirit Filled Life:  https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/spiritual-growth/the-spirit-filled-life.html

Please send comments to: Jim.Grunseth@Cru.Org

Remember...Everything on this website www.marriageanchors.com is free. We serve over 1300 churches and missions in 80 countries. Please share this resource.

God bless you!

Jim and Barbara Grunseth, Cru

Let Us Choose the Narrow Path

It will not be easy; the battle is real. At least for me, it is natural to want to defend myself and run as far away from that horrible cross as possible! Yet if I choose the unnatural and deny myself, what then? What if I choose the narrow path (the ancient paths) and accept things that are unfair?

“Thus says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls….”    Jeremiah 6:16

What if I choose to give thanks and trust God no matter what? (1Thessalonians 5:16-18) I am going to choose to believe that I will see God’s best outcome from my situation. That is what happened to the Lord Jesus. He is our example.

“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation."  1 Peter 5:10 NLT

I wish we did not fight so hard against the cross, I wish we were a people who naturally just submitted and rejoiced but there is something that comes over all of us when pain hits unrelentingly or when injustice is served meal after meal. We humans begin to sweat, grumble, cry for justice, and beg for reprieve. We want relief!

We grow fragile fault lines that if stepped upon easily cave in and crumble.

We look to God to fix it and if He does not, we often become upset, even resentful. We will either leave the cross behind and forsake God or we will decide to stay and give thanks no matter what.

Do we trust His will, that He's heard our prayers and that He will do what is best? Do we believe when it really counts that He can turn this ash into beauty or work all things including this cross for our good?

Do we love Him, the Lord Jesus? Will we stand true and firm in the face of difficult trials or unfair situations? We will choose to trust God through the shadowy valley or on the shore of the great sea and see the salvation of the Lord? This takes humility, surrender, and faithful courage like the kind Moses had before the Red Sea parted or like young David had standing with his rock and his sling before the giant Goliath.

Will you stand with me and see our deliverance by our Mighty King Jesus? Others might criticize or mock you. You might think God should have punished or at least humbled these unkind people a long time ago but to your chagrin, He has not. Of course, you do not know what is really going on in the hearts of others.

The key is to keep your heart from bitterness and your eyes on the Father even when He does not reveal His plan in all of this.

Love suffers long.

Will you remember that as others ignore you, avoid the same grocery isle that you are on, or spread malicious gossip about you, the Lord prizes and cherishes you. He loves you unconditionally! It does not matter what others think. You have an audience of One. That is all that matters.

Let me invite you to walk the narrow, ancient path of brokenness, humility, and purity. You may find yourself walking alone. That is Ok. You are never alone. The Spirit of Jesus is with you all the way.

No matter the cross, give thanks. The Lord has handpicked this for you. He can work with your submission and thanksgiving. It is like sunshine and rain on a freshly seeded field.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.”  1Peter 5:6

Further reading written by my Dad, Jim Grunseth… go to: Choose the Narrow Path | Marriage Anchors

By Anne Borgen

Hey, check out my website, "envoy" with this link: https://m.youtube.com/@anneborgen

 All Scripture references are from the ESV unless otherwise noted.

Any messages for Jim and Barbara Grunseth, email us at: Jim.Grunseth@Cru.Org

Traversing The Mine Field of Relationships

God needs me to trust Him with each person in my life, loyal or not. He wants me to show steadfast lovingkindness and forgiveness to even those who bruise my soul and who do not seek my best interest.

Here is where I must state a truth:

Loving and forgiving someone does not mean you have to trust them. Love is unconditional. Trust is earned.

If someone has betrayed or grievously harmed you, you must forgive them. Trust will take time. For some people, trust will never be reestablished. This is sad but true. If someone attacks you, your family, or your home, you can forgive but you may have to have them arrested, jailed, and have a restraining order in place: Tough love. You are never to tolerate physical or sexual abuse.

God needs me to trust that He will remove difficult, shame based, and judgmental people if it is in my best interest. We have a tough time thinking pain and suffering are good for us.

How can emotional bleeding, pain or wounding be a good thing? I do not have any answer to that other than to offer another question: How was Jesus’ suffering and dying on the Cross eternally good for those who believe? God has mysterious ways about Him we cannot understand.

He turns ashes into beauty, water into wine, and death into resurrection. He can turn your suffering into your being able to comfort another who suffers.

Jesus desires to turn our emotional and spiritual wounds into something more. I have this hunch that we need to follow our Master’s example. We are to surrender fully to Him as He guides our lives. Elizabeth Elliot once said that to glorify God we must accept the lot He has given us.

Again, this does not mean we are to be a doormat or a slave to someone’s beatings or other criminal abuse. On the contrary, if, say, a husband hits his wife, the wife should call 911 and have him jailed for a night or two. He will learn the hard way: Tough Love.

We must be willing to suffer for His Name’s sake. If holding up and defending Jesus and His Word, leads to death or imprisonment, so be it!

“If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.” 

                                                                                                                             2Corinthians 1:6

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.”  Hebrews 10:36

For further reading from my dad, Jim Grunseth: Hope in the Hidden Places | Marriage Anchors

By Anne Borgen

Hey, check out my website, "envoy" with this link: https://m.youtube.com/@anneborgen

 All Scripture references are from the ESV unless otherwise noted.

Any messages for Jim and Barbara Grunseth, email us at: Jim.Grunseth@Cru.Org