Why is it that some gardens do better than others? The answer is they are nurtured. Good soil, fertilizer, careful planting, proper spacing, weeding, and watering all play their part. The same goes for your marriage.
I once planted a small garden. I planted it in May but I did not go back to it until October! I had one limp zucchini about 3 inches long and some very hot radishes! In essence, the soil was so poor weeds did not even like to grow there. They don’t call me “Brown Thumb Jim” for nothing.
This is what happens to so many marriages. They plant at the wedding alter. Then the couple expects their marriage relationship to just grow, deepen, and flourish. Is it any wonder why the majority of marriages sooner or later end up like my October garden?
Your marriage is like a garden. Tender, timely care and respect are required. Many husbands and wives gradually take their mates for granted and then they watch each other slowly fade away from any meaningful or heartfelt relationship or commitment. This poorly tended marriage almost always leads to some form of adultery or straying from the vows once planted.
Men, nurture your bride daily by choosing to be gallant. Open the car door for her. Pull out a chair for her at a restaurant. Don't sit down until she is seated. When she walks into a room where you are seated, stand up to honor her. Always help her with her coat. Go out of your way to pamper her. Take her on a date at least once a week. Let the kids know that at 9:30 p.m. on week nights and from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. on Sundays, your bedroom door is locked. This is your time to nurture, talk, and love.
Men, choose to be romantic. It is a choice. Cards, flowers, candy, surprise phone calls or visits during the day, etc., will nurture. Walk up to your wife, hold her in your arms, and tell her how special she is to you. Plan a special "get-a-way" weekend—just for the two of you. Pour a hot bath for her. Share with her your inner thoughts, hopes, fears, and concerns. Ask for her advice. She craves to know the "real you"—the one who lives inside your skin.
Become a listening man. She does not want your answers. She wants your understanding. She needs not your solutions. She needs your ears and your tender eyes attending to her.
Women, let your words be sweetened wit h grace and gentleness. Perfume, intimate apparel that he likes, candles, his favorite meal, a short love note to encourage him, walk up to him and hold him tightly, etc.—all of this will nurture.
Women, affirm him; let him lead. Defer to him. Build him up and defend him in public settings. Never slander him. Never! Gently caress the back of his neck, rub his shoulders, and tell him you missed him when he comes home. Tell him you are proud of him and need him.
Another way to nurture your mate is to write, email, or text a short, tender note like this (A hand written note on stationary or a nice card will mean the most):
So treat your marriage like your garden. Be good to your garden. Likewise, be good to your marriage. It takes planning, thoughtfulness, and hard work. A happy marriage can deteriorate rather quickly in 3 or 4 months without nurturing. The same is true of your marriage.
Try these suggestions and lets see what kind of “Garden Marriage” will result. Take care and let us know how you are and how we can encourage you!
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7 Glues for your Engagement and Marriage
Marriage Anchors
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Rekindling Your Faith
http://www.campuscrusade.com/promos/RekindlingYourFaith.html
Sat, Sep 25, 2010
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