Kate came to our home recently because she was troubled over so many issues in her life. She expressed deep anger and frustration because things, especially relationships with men, were not going her way. She had been married once before but that ended in disaster.
She desperately wanted peace and hope in her life. She had been to at least 20 counselors and pastors over the years. She either did not like their advice or they simply told her things she wanted to hear to pacify her.
She came to us a few months ago for similar reasons. At that time, we strongly advised her to end her relationship with a controlling, immoral man who did not follow or serve the Lord Jesus. When she met with us a few days ago, we asked her about that unequally yoked relationship. She said she did not listen to us but, rather, she felt that continuing to meet with this man was God’s plan for her spiritual growth.
Spiritual growth? You have got to be kidding! We shot straight with her and referred her to the Living Truth, the written Word of God, the Bible. God is quite clear about His plan.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
She got mad over this rather straightforward confrontation. Here she was….a mid-forties Christian woman expecting God to revolve around her hopes, needs, wishes, and dreams. Kate is dearly loved by her Heavenly Father, yet, she has fallen into the devil’s trap like so many of the wonderful people we mentor. She has swallowed the lie that says, “God wants me happy so He will allow me to disobey Him so that my plans can be fulfilled.”
She said, “I learned so much from this difficult relationship! How could it not be ordained by God?” We shared with her that if her choices in life oppose God’s Word, then her choices oppose and offend God Himself.
She sat there in her lonely, selfish misery and cried.
Then she said that she wants to get married again some day sooner than later. “I don’t want to be alone. I want to love and be loved just like most people want.”
Barbara, in her quiet, merciful, discerning way, gently looked into Kate’s eyes and said to her, “Don’t get married! Kate looked absolutely blown off the map! The look on Kate’s face said, “How can you say such a cruel thing, because don’t you know? God wants me happy!”
There are many passages from God’s Word that she needs to humbly embrace. One such verse is Joshua 22:5 ESV
Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul."
Barbara tried to help her understand that if you want to marry someone someday, you must be willing to die to your selfish plans. She urged Kate to humble herself and cry out to the Lord Jesus to arrest her heart so that she would surrender fully and daily to the hopes, plans and dreams of her Lord, Teacher, Friend, and Savior. His Word, the manna from Heaven, would be her guide.
Barbara stated again. “Don’t get married! …unless the Lord calls or commands you to marry a godly man who’s faith has been tested by trial, who has not fallen away from the Lord and his path of Truth.”
Barbara boldly went further. She told Kate, “Don’t get married!...unless your ministry together will glorify God more than remaining single. Kate was shocked to learn that God’s ordained marriage is not so much about happiness, closeness, and lovy dovy-ness. Rather it is about one Christian man and one Christian woman humbly surrendering to Christ and obeying His command to enter into His marriage to advance His Kingdom.
We need to heed the following verses in terms of relating to God’s sacred calling and mission in light of marriage:
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Ephesians 4:1
We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me. Colossians 1:28-29
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 2 Corinthians 5:18
We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. 2 Corinthians 5:20a
When Kate left, she apologized for getting angry. She thanked us for sharing the loving Truth with her. What she does with the Truth is between her and God.
So for all who read this and are thinking of getting married…Don’t get married!...Unless…
*****
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7 Glues for your Engagement and Marriage
Marriage Anchors
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Rekindling Your Faith
http://www.campuscrusade.com/promos/RekindlingYourFaith.html
Tue, Feb 8, 2011
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