At the age of 28, I had a wife and 2 very small children; a boy and a girl. I worked hard with long hours at my company. My wife was home with the kids. When I was home I was tired and tended to be pre-occupied with work and earning the approval of my bosses. Jesus and church appeared to be important in my life, yet my priorities and accompanying attitude revealed otherwise.
I was a dyed in the wool people pleaser! Everyone at work and at church thought I was a committed follower of the Lord Jesus and His teachings. Confession: I was a carnal, incongruent man! I put on a Christian face outside the home at church and work, but I put on a different face at home. I was two faced and torn within.
My heart view of God was small. To me, He was sort of a loving Genie or Santa in the sky who helped me when I wanted help. He was my Savior but only in a convenient way. In my heart, I wanted God to revolve around me and my plans! I would come home from work sometimes at 8:00 AM in the morning. My wife was waking up, getting the kids up, and looking for breakfast. I was looking for supper. My work day was over. I wanted to sleep.
She and I were like two ships passing in the night but seldom communicating. She was frustrated because our marriage and our family were less important to me than getting the boss to approve of me. I was the “present but absent” husband and dad. I grew tired of her complaining that our family was hurting. I was fed up with her attitude! I expected her to get behind me and support me. I wanted the world to think of me as a highly respected and successful Christian family man. I was living a lie.
We’d go to church on Sunday, with our fake “Everything is fine!” masks on. As soon as the service was over and we were headed home, we’d take off those masks and the pain, despair, and isolation would flood the car. Our small children could do nothing about it except be marinated in that miserable mood.
My priorities were wrong and out of balance. There was on going sin in my life. My family was isolated and suffering. My view of God was small. Jesus was on the back burner of my heart.
In time, the Lord began to humble me, break me, and pin me to the mat. I fought Him all the way down. It is what we humans are good at. Fighting God!
Since the European Renaissance at the end of the Middle Ages, people have lowered their reverent, exalted view of God. They began raising their view of mankind as the center of all things, not God! It was celebrated that man can be trusted to solve his own problems without God’s help. This humanistic attitude has crept into many marriages.
If this rings true with your life, we urge you to ask God to give you a teachable heart; a heart after God. Spend time with Him. Read His Word, the Bible. Meet with other Christians for encouragement and study. Begin living as thought the Bible is true. He is waiting to help.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”